Dream a little dream…

We are not in a good place right now and it is all my fault. I have come to the point where I realized I don’t deserve you anymore. I don’t want to be grilled anymore, I get it, it’s my fault. So please if possible let’s not talk about it anymore, I get it.

But in a few days we would be seeing each other. There would be a long and very uncomfortable silence, the kind where you have to hold your breath because you can hear your chest heaving and your heart feels like it’s about to burst out of it.

I don’t want to talk about it. It’s my fault. I get it.

All I want is our happy ending. A simple happily ever after.

In an ironic twist of fate, I dreamt about my wedding for the first time.

I have always been a softy when it comes to weddings. I love the idea of proposals, wedding preparations and cry most of the time when the bride walks down the aisle. I’m a sucker for the whimsical, of colors, innovative invitations and at times cheesy AVP’s but I don’t have an idea of what I want for my own. All I know that it would be as personalized as possible and my entourage would look good in their dresses and there would be color, lots of it.

But last night I dreamt of my wedding. Maybe because Sloane accepted Eric’s proposal in Entourage or it’s just subtle torture of the unconscious.

In my dream, my wedding was pristine and very intimate. It involved a lot of white and green. I remember my dreams most of the time but this one was a blur and it happened so fast.

My groom and I were walking down what looks like a courtyard and the usual post ceremony photos  by a photographer. I remember giving a peace sign pose and my hand was holding purple flowers and I had gloves, fishnet ones that were wrapped around my palm and I could see my fingers .

We went inside a wooden gate like those you see off an english courtyard  and we were welcomed by our flower girl wearing a colorful dress. A few friends were waiting by the garden sets but I cannot make out who they were.

 Love and happiness filled the air and I felt it as soon as my groom and I walked in the garden, I never knew this was possible but even in my dream I felt it. I was happy.

All I can make out of the festivity is that the place setting was elegant and intimate, the mantle was all white and we were in a garden and  people were talking and laughing with each other unmindful of the invasion of personal space.

I had a summer wedding, the sun was shinning high bouncing it’s rays off the glassware adding a luster sophistication (for the lack of better adjective)  and no one was complaining of the heat or humidity.

There was an old caucasian looking old couple who congratulated us and there was genuine happiness in the grandpa’s eyes. I looked up but I cannot see my groom’s face. All I can see is the back of his head, he has dark hair and is taller than me.

This is where it becomes really weird. The next thing I know people were complementing me on my Disney Princess inspired gown. It was white silk/satin with a sweetheart cut and a weird detachable collar. (Okay I know I can be prissy but hell no to a Disney inspired gown with a detachable collar and a white satin gown, with multiple paddings I might pull off a princess cut gown.)

 The next thing I knew the gown fell off exposing my breasts and then I woke up! HAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

To some extent the details of my “dream” wedding are true.

Summer- I wouldn’t mind getting married in summer if only it was not hot and humid in Manila

Intimate, pristine, simple,  full of love and laughter.- These are the components I have nailed down should I get married anytime soon.

I don’t know who my future husband/groom would be as especially right now things are heartbreakingly hazy. All I know is that on my wedding day I would be happy and surrounded with people who would make me feel loved the moment I walk inside the room.

I am hopeful.

 

The Golden Day

It’s my dad’s 50th birthday on the 20th and he wants a party. He wants to throw a “small” party that has an estimated 80 guests. I told him to just have a cool <Balik sa Pagkabata Party> at  Jolibee then invite close relatives over to the house. That way the house guests who are all too familiar with our domesticated talents would be very forgiving if we serve them simple dinner and just spend the rest of the night playing bowling tourney in Wii.

I still haven’t sold the idea to him though, he said he’s going to decide on it by Feb 10, I didn’t have the strength to argue with him that it would be too late. It’s really hard arranging a party or anything for my Dad, he’s so nit picky when it comes to this things. Given the means we would probably be renting a clubhouse and throw this huge bash and he’d also get this 72inch LCD TV that he is coveting for. OOOOOOOHHHHH to please dad…… I really do wish I have the means.

For now let’s decide on this, I want to give him a nice and imaginative birthday cake and I need votes. I have a friend who owns a bake shop who has made kick ass cakes for two parties that I have organized. Keep in mind that this would not be the cake itself but the basic template.

Option 1: The Formal Cake- No frills happy 50th birthday Dad. 

Option 2: Simple Funky Cake – I was thinking of changing the cars or gifts into little egg to add some fun into it, something similar to the third photo but not as girly.

 

Option 3: Totally Wild- this design is something totally different and I’m pretty sure only a few have seen I’m not sure though id the baker can pull this off this nice, the EGG theme.

 

So go ahead and cast your votes!

Fate

…. is when you walk into your favorite bookshops and good books are staring at you right in the face without any effort whatsoever.

It is when you have made a pact with someone to moderate your expenses and unecessary spending and just like a shiny red apple it is there, within arms reach inviting you to take them home.

Although some of you might not know this but one of my priority resolutions this year is (1) to minimize spending and in turn save more and the other one is just a bit harder, (2) listen more talk less. hehehe

So my dear friends in an effort to perform resolution 1 and enjoy the last bit of spending freedom I thought I might share my good finds with you. It was never a practice of mine to buy books until i have finish my current read, in this case I had to make an exception. The first two books were fresh out of the delivery boxes in Booksale, they were taunting me.

“Comfort me with Apples : More Adventures at the Table”  by Ruth Reichl she is the former EIC of the now defunct Gourmet Magazine. Off hand the title sounds cheezy, I know, but it is one of the referrence books used in a food writing book I bought a couple of months back thus my excitement to having encountered it in the haystack, again effortlessly.  My intention of buying this memoir is for me to learn to write more “descriptively” and use metaphors when writing about eating or food, let see how that one goes. The more painful option is cooking.

 

 

 

Second book ” The best American Travel Writing 2006″ is pretty much self explanatory, I live vicariously through books.

 

 

 

 The last unplanned purchase for the month of January is “Throwing the Elephant. The Zen and the Art of  Managing  Up” I bought this one in Fullybooked SM North because there was a weekend sale and  a 20% store wide discount.

Like the rest of the good finds I was looking for a  copy of  The Black Swan” when I came across this book instead. Off hand this is a very entertaining book. It gives you ancedotes on how to handle the elephant in your career thru mastering Zen techniques and hopefully manipulate the gray beast. It is an easy read and has Buddah Bullets at the end of each major subject.

Here is an example:

Buddha Bullet

Labor  for its own sake is noxious. The elephant has gotten to the point where it does not need to engage in it anymore, but can simply endanger it in others. that you are willing and able to do actual work gives you incredible power over a creature that by no means wished to return to doing any.

 The contents is nothing new, one may have encountered it in the span of his career but then again they way Stanley Bing (not his real name) presents the situation is lighthearted and concise you cannot help be mindful of your actions upon your next encounter with your elephant. 

For the next five Saturdays one or two of these babies would be my constant companion. It has been awhile since I sat in silence just reading outside of the office. Now there is something new to look forward to in the coming weekends.

Randomeness of Boredom

I demand order but can never seem to get it.

Somehow there isn’t enough space or time.

Everything is a mess.

This is how my room looks like, if I have a bigger space and my walls are green in real life not white, but im pretty sure you get the picture.

Most of you would say that’s why your mind is a mess because your sanctuary (you don’t know how many times i had to retype the last word, typing with your head tilted sideways is hard) ,is a mess.

I would say, get me a bigger closet space and then i can be organized. Not true, I would probably be putting it off.

———–

For my house I want this, paper cut outs in a dome.

I want this in my closet, a Forever21 cardigan with puff sleeves.

The Fighter Within Us

Do you believe in the saying that God never gives us trials that we cannot surpass? If so then I really hope our little angel does so with flying colors.

I have always been worried of unexpected pregnancies. I can babysit my nephews and nieces but can never imagine having one of my own. After seeing what my cousin went through all I can hope for friends who get pregnant is that I hope they have healthy pregnancies and  bear healthier babies.

About two weeks ago my cousin had an emergency C-section, she had to deliver her baby 2 months ahead of schedule. They found liquids in the baby’s stomach during a routine pre natal check up. To make matters worse they operated on the baby as well, think something like a tummy tuck surgery but for an 8th month pre mature fetus.

From here on end all we can do is keep praying. I have spoken to several mothers already and they all expressed the same concern, there are slimmer chances of survival for an 8th month old  pre mature baby  than a 7 month old, in short we leave everything to God. And as life would really test my cousin’s strength and faith she was again made to sign a consent waiver, they had to operate on him again, this time around they had to cut a vein from his neck.

Not a day goes by that I do not pray for my nephew. Our main concern now is that he stabilizes. My cousin is alone in this battle. She has no one to count on but herself. I know no matter how much we try to console her this would have been more bearable if she has someone on her side.

Age is never an issue. “Magaling ka gumawa hindi mo mapangatawanan (sabay tuhod sa bayag)” .   Once my nephew gets better we would spoil him rotten,  if only to fill the void of not having a dad.

I chatted with my cousin this morning, she told me that the baby’s heart stopped twice for 5 seconds over the weekend. When she got to the hospital the baby was crying, his tears were flowing down his face. She says he reminded her of herself, he has her eyes she says.

Every day is a different battle and all we can do is pray for him to be strong like his mom. To anyone who would come across this blog, I ask you to please pray for my nephew, we need all the prayers we can get.

 Dane Antoine Marcelo.

 

 

365 days of ME :p

Okay so I lied, I should have said I will limit my FB time and not play online games instead of saying I will not be visiting the site. In all fairness I have refrained from playing Cafe World since Monday and stayed online on FB for a max 15mins and yes with free access to the web, this is a big deal.

Since my mind is still refusing to work I thought I’d share with you what I have been up to since Saturday, my anniversary gift. Sticking to the mantra of scrooge-fest it was difficult to think of something to give without spending too much. I set a budget of  Php300 since technically we agreed on not giving each other presents since Christmas season just ended and we are not starting to pay off credit card bills.

When 2010 began I thought I’d start it off by being organized first up- print digital photos. I have started on two vacation photos Palawan and HK. I limited it to 50 photos to domestic and 70 photos to international locations, this way it would not only save me money but would make the 300 pages of photo album space equally divided. And because of this resolution I thought of giving him a scrapbook of all the places we have been to but I soon realized that it would overshoot my budget.

I have resigned myself to give him an anniversary greeting card which also made me realize that there are a few non-cheezy cards dedicated to male significant others and so I went and got him clever greeting card that says “TO MY GIRLFRIEND” in front (photo to follow and you’ll understand why).

In replacement to FB surfing I have been following various blogs from weddings, fashion and arts and crafts to which I have been searching for ideas for my Dad’s golden birthday in February then I came across my gift. Made with lots of love, E-for effort, an old calendar and I was under the budget too!  Enjoy!

Social Networking Detox

Let’s see how it goes, one week no Facebook.

Maybe I would become more imaginative and productive. Let see how it goes.

 

 

 

 

My one week startssssssssss…..

After finishing my dishes on cafe world. Hehehe sayang eh!

Mexican Craving

One of the constant luxuries that Mikko and I have is dining out we especially get a thrill on dining in hole in the wall kind of establishments.

Last Saturday we ate at Ristas a mexican eatery in Wilson St. Greenhills. The portions were sufficient for sharing, especially if you were dining with me.

 

 

 

They also served imported “Sasaparilla” and ” Ginger Ale”  in cool bottles.   If you happen to pass by the place for some merienda or siesta time no worries they serve imported beers and the classic Corona.

 

 

 

 

 

 

For a quick lunch we ordered Carne Asada Quesadilla and Nachos with Salsa and cheese toppings. The Quesadilla is assembled in front of you should you choose to remove some of the ingredients. Fresh ingredients are used for each orders and just to see how authentic this quesadilla is I opted to remove everything from the mixture.

After lightly toasting the pita breads, the four pieces are spread like a fan over the styro plates with tomatoes and guacamole on top of a foil. The juices from the fresh vegtables and the strings of cheese are visible in every slice of your plastic fork the only thing missing for me though is the spice. If you favor spicy dishes like me I would suggest that you ask for their chili in a Corona bottle upon getting your order.

Verdict:  Yes, will dine and try the burritos next.

Pros: Accomodating staff, big servings, good selection of drinks, tasty food,

Cons: They could have used proper bottle dispensers for their chili sauce. Their staff might be accomodating but they need to brush up on sanitation or proper food handling, a customer was asking for a lemon to put  in their Corona the busboy was handing him a slice with his bare fingers.

Sack of Rice

In general I love giving presents, I spend hours and days finding the perfect present for each of my friends and loved ones. And every now and then it’s refreshing to receive an original or well thought of present from anyone.

This is the first cool present I got this year, it’s from our advertising agency. The big one is for my boss the one in the pouch is mine , it’s various grains of rice (brown rice, red rice and green rice).  Presentation is the key.

Christmas Presents

This is my Christmas present to my office mates from the sales department. Most of them have families of their own and they earn more that I do and given the current financial circumstance that I have I figured this is the safest gift I can give them, home decor.

I found these throw pillow covers in the department store of SM, the safest quantity that I can think of is four, which would more or less fit into a medium size sofa set. 

The prints are what really attracted me to this covers. They have a contemporary minimalist feel to them i liked them so much I bought 1pc of the aqua cover for myself and besides the fail safe gift giving rule is, should it be given to you will you like it or not?